Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
