I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
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