just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
