So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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