Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
