apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
