Say something about gay babies.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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