i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
