she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
