Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize