when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
