So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
send nudes
from the living room?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
