And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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