This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize