good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
