Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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