Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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