so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
