Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
