Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
