Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
