his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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