yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
