dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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