Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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