So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize