You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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