just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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