I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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