i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
