My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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