just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
