We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
