I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
