something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
