My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
