so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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