we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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