Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
