I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
