I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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