You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
