**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
