On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
