I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You can't motorboat a personality
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
