Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
