There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
