maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize