I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
