Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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