dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
