Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
