Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
