ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
