A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
