i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
