Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
