I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
