they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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