put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
