just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
