Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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