i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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